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gbfrank
Post subject:   PostPosted: Jan 15, 2014 - 03:55 PM
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ssergorp?

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vinowinoOffline
Post subject:   PostPosted: Jan 15, 2014 - 08:37 PM
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Three snails were crawling down the sidewalk. A turtle came up from behind and mugged them.

The police, when investigating the crime scene, began by asking the snails what happened.

One of the snails replied, I really dont know . . . it all happened so fast.

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Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans. John Lennon.
 
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wurlitzer1450Offline
Post subject: Bad joke thread gone???  PostPosted: Jan 16, 2014 - 10:08 AM
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i don't usually do political jokes but this is too funny not to pass along----

A few days after President Obama was re-elected president, he joined Bill and Hillary Clinton for dinner at their spacious home.



After several beers the President asked his host if he could use his personal bathroom.



When he entered Bill Clinton 's private toilet, he was astonished to see that Clinton had a gold urinal! Wow!



The next day, Obama told his wife, Michelle, about the urinal in Clinton 's private lavatory.



"Just think,' he said, " maybe I should get a gold urinal too. But on the other hand I think that it may be just a bit too self-indulgent... even for a guy like me!"



Later in the week, when Michelle had lunch with Hillary, she told Hillary how impressed her husband had been upon discovering that Bill had a gold urinal in his private bathroom.





Later that day, when Bill got home, Hillary smiled and said to Bill, "I found out who p***** in your saxophone.

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near the little town of nervous, new mexico
 
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stephenjayeOffline
Post subject: RE: Bad joke thread gone???  PostPosted: Jan 16, 2014 - 11:45 AM
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Receptionist to Psychiatrist: "Doctor, there's a man in the waiting room who thinks he's invisible!"

Psychiatrist: "Tell him I can't see him right now".
 
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rooster
Post subject:   PostPosted: Jan 16, 2014 - 07:51 PM
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I read in the paper the other day about an A&R man that got run over by a train.

Apparently, He just didn't hear it.


---------------------------------------------------------

A rabbit and a snake met in the forest and both of them were visually challenged.
So the snake then slithered up to the rabbit and said:"you are soft, furry and have long floppy ears so you must be a rabbit!"

So the rabbit then said: "you are slimy, low to the ground and have no ears so you must be an a&r man!!!"


rooster

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While the information he conveyed was interesting Rooster's communication skills need improvement. - Global_Dog_Productions
 
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anthonyvpOffline
Post subject:   PostPosted: Jan 24, 2014 - 09:54 PM
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Cletus is passing by Billy Bob 's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor. Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.

Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.

Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the world're ya doing, Billy Bob ?"

"Good grief, Cletus, ya scared the bejeebers out of me," says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob ..

"But me 'n the wife been havin trouble lately in the bedroom d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to
a tractor."
 
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gbfrank
Post subject:   PostPosted: Jan 25, 2014 - 12:26 AM
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One of the worst groaners I've ever read/heard/seen. Nice goin' anthony

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rooster
Post subject:   PostPosted: Feb 01, 2014 - 05:45 AM
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Q: How do you prevent a group of monks from opening a flower shop?



A: You hire a big tough dude named Hugh to take them out because only Hugh can prevent florist friars.


rooster

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gbfrank
Post subject:   PostPosted: Feb 01, 2014 - 07:42 AM
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soooo bad. spiffy.

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stephenjayeOffline
Post subject:   PostPosted: Feb 02, 2014 - 11:10 AM
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Two cannibals are eating a freshly-cooked clown when one cannibal asks the other "Does this taste funny to you"?

Two cannibals begin eating a missionary when one says "This meat is really tough". The other cannibal says "I don't understand it, I barbecued him same as always". The first cannibal says "I see the problem here- He's a friar".
 
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