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RidinTheWind
Post subject:   PostPosted: Jun 18, 2014 - 11:49 AM
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Saw this one in a "Playboy" book of limericks. To the best of my recollection, it goes like this:

There once was a girl named Cat
Who bore triplets, Pat, Nat, and Tat
While there was fun in conceiving
There was none in the feeding
For she found she had no tit for Tat

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wurlitzer1450Offline
Post subject:   PostPosted: Jun 19, 2014 - 01:05 PM
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vf RTW, i mustave missed that one back in the day Laughing

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near the little town of nervous, new mexico
 
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RidinTheWind
Post subject:   PostPosted: Jul 02, 2014 - 03:23 PM
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Two blonde astronauts at a news conference were telling about their plans to land on the sun. One journalist said, "but you'll be incinerated!". To which one blonde replied, "Silly, we're going at night!".

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wurlitzer1450Offline
Post subject:   PostPosted: Jul 08, 2014 - 01:38 PM
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i've been away on a record buying trip and i missed this one [and i'm glad i did] when you originally posted it RTW Laughing

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RidinTheWind
Post subject:   PostPosted: Jul 09, 2014 - 12:59 PM
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But, it finally caught up with you! There's no escape!

Now to find some really bad puns! Twisted Evil

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wand143Offline
Post subject:   PostPosted: Jul 12, 2014 - 07:37 AM
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Such as the one about the man who was stabbed by an icicle and died from cold cuts? Or the guy who did such a thorough job of painting boats that he left no stern untoned?

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"That big ol' hole, little bitty record...nobody's gonna buy that!" - Carl Perkins, 1956
 
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RidinTheWind
Post subject:   PostPosted: Jul 14, 2014 - 03:50 PM
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Wand, maybe I can't beat those, but I'll try:

Satellite: A low-fat version of Saturday. A termite walks into a bar and says, "Is the bar tender here?" Two peanuts walked into a bar, and one was a-salted...

And the worst for last: Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak got chilly so they lit a fire in the craft but it sank proving once and for all you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

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gbfrank
Post subject:   PostPosted: Jul 14, 2014 - 05:56 PM
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Soooo bad! Soooo good!

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Everybody is entitled to their opinion, even if it's wrong, which it is, uh, most of the time, maybe....or not.
 
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RidinTheWind
Post subject:   PostPosted: Jul 21, 2014 - 03:43 PM
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Man to new wife on their wedding night, "Is this your first time?". Wife, "Of course it is. Why do men always ask the same thing?".

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wand143Offline
Post subject:   PostPosted: Jul 22, 2014 - 05:53 AM
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Okay, just relax, these are going to hurt just a little bit...
Dijon vu: The feeling you've had the same mustard before.
A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
When two egoists meet, it's an I for an I.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
The reading of a will is a dead giveaway.
It was an emotional wedding - even the cake was in tiers.
When chemists die, we barium.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand on it own? Because it was two-tired.
She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg...until she broke it off.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
When a clock gets hungry, it goes back four seconds.
Reading while sun-bathing makes you well-red.
A pessimist's blood type: always B-negative.
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
What you seize is what you get.
FINALLY (oh, you made it this far?)
A man walks into a bar with a salamander in his hand. The bartender asks him what he calls it. "Tiny", replies the man. Why's that?", asks the barkeep.
And the man replies......"Because he's my newt!"

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"That big ol' hole, little bitty record...nobody's gonna buy that!" - Carl Perkins, 1956
 
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