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gbfrank
Post subject:   PostPosted: Sep 03, 2014 - 07:22 AM
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Very Happy

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Everybody is entitled to their opinion, even if it's wrong, which it is, uh, most of the time, maybe....or not.
 
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wurlitzer1450Offline
Post subject:   PostPosted: Sep 03, 2014 - 12:23 PM
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i have been away for over a week and after reading this i wish i had stayed away longer. Laughing Laughing

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near the little town of nervous, new mexico
 
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wand143Offline
Post subject:   PostPosted: Sep 12, 2014 - 05:53 AM
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Okay, this ones a little more crude:
Definition of "surprise": a fart with a lump in it. Shocked

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"That big ol' hole, little bitty record...nobody's gonna buy that!" - Carl Perkins, 1956
 
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wurlitzer1450Offline
Post subject:   PostPosted: Sep 24, 2014 - 12:20 PM
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i'm very disappointed, just returned from a 9 day trip thru the western rockies and there's no new[?] jokes on here Sad

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near the little town of nervous, new mexico
 
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wand143Offline
Post subject:   PostPosted: Sep 27, 2014 - 06:05 PM
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I'd contribute more but my kids' joke books seem to be AWOL for the time being. And I wouldn't call some of them "new" but most are darn cute.

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"That big ol' hole, little bitty record...nobody's gonna buy that!" - Carl Perkins, 1956
 
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wurlitzer1450Offline
Post subject:   PostPosted: Oct 02, 2014 - 09:37 AM
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i'm back from another 10 day buying trip and still no new? jokes, come on RTW, rooster, frank and the rest of you -- contribute.

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near the little town of nervous, new mexico
 
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wurlitzer1450Offline
Post subject:   PostPosted: Oct 02, 2014 - 10:27 AM
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since no one else has anything i will submit this for your consideration --- Gene, 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old . .. .......

Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Gene should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Gene, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one.

All goes well, Gene takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Gene. Again he is ready for more 'action'. Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newly weds are done, Gene kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.


She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it Gene is back again, rapping on the door and is as fresh as a 25 - year - old, ready for more 'action'. And, once more they enjoy each other.

But as Gene gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, 'I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Gene.'

Gene, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: 'You mean I was here already?'

The moral of the story:
Don't be afraid of getting old, Alzheimer's has its advantages.

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near the little town of nervous, new mexico
 
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wand143Offline
Post subject:   PostPosted: Oct 08, 2014 - 06:04 AM
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Why do bagpipe players march when they play?
To get away from the noise.
* * *
What's the difference between a lead guitarist and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.
* * *
What's the definition of "perfect pitch"?
Throwing an accordion in the dumpster without hitting the sides.
* * *
What do you get when you play New Age music backwards?
New Age music.
* * *
What's the difference between a banjo and a puppy?
Nobody cries when you step on a banjo.

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"That big ol' hole, little bitty record...nobody's gonna buy that!" - Carl Perkins, 1956
 
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wurlitzer1450Offline
Post subject:   PostPosted: Oct 09, 2014 - 07:43 PM
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finally --- some substance here Laughing

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near the little town of nervous, new mexico
 
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wand143Offline
Post subject:   PostPosted: Oct 12, 2014 - 04:30 PM
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Substance you want, do you, hmm? (Ok, it's like real hard to type a Yoda voice...)
* * *
What's the difference between an accordion player and a terrorist?
Terrorists have sympathizers.
* * *
What's the difference between a dead trombonist in the road and a dead skunk in the road?
The skunk may have been on his way to a gig.
* * *
How do you make a million dollars playing folk music?
Start with two million.

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"That big ol' hole, little bitty record...nobody's gonna buy that!" - Carl Perkins, 1956
 
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